The Floor Is Lava
by Eternal Love Song
Summary: Based on a Prompt, "Imagine your OTP has a child/children. Imagine person A of your OTP standing on a chair, sofa, or balancing between two separate armrest with their kid(s) in their arms. Person B walks in asking what they're doing, and both Person A and the kid(s) cry frantically, "The floor are lava!" I saw this and immediately thought of Loki and Darcy, so here we are.


There was laughing coming from the other room.

That was usually a good thing. Hell, Darcy enjoyed a good laugh herself! But when your husband was the God of Mischief, you learned to take things like laughter with a healthy dose of worry. It could be harmless fun and laughter, or it could be absolute disaster. Their son was still too young to be able to tell the difference and thus found everything her husband did as pure hilarity.

"What is going on in here?" Darcy asked as she entered the room.

"Mommy!" Her two year old giggled.

"Wait!" Loki cried desperately. He had just jumped from one couch to the other with their son held tightly in his arms, something that she did not agree with. At least not while Jane was staying over and scrutinizing Darcy's ability to be an adult, even after all these years of marriage and child rearing and tax paying.

"The floor is lava!" Loki said, her son trying to repeat him through his own laughter. Loki's voice was disproportionately serious, while her son, Nari, was still racked with laughter.

Now there were two ways Darcy could react to this. The fun way or the series way. Or as Loki had begun to call it after seeing Jane trying to lecture her one too many times, the Jane way or the Darcy.

She chose the Darcy way.

"Holy shit, what?" Darcy cried out as she hastily climbed atop the closest end table.

"We were trying to get to safety," Loki told her. "I'll come back for you! Stay there, wife!"

Dramatic though he was, Loki was pretty good at getting into character. Do doubt that was the part Nari enjoyed most. Still, Darcy couldn't resist getting into character with her husband.

"No! Take care of our son!" Darcy cried out. "I'll make my way to you." She flung herself off the table and onto the couch, making exaggerated noises of effort.

"Mommy!" Her son giggled again as Loki began to jump up and down of the couch with him.

"Tread carefully, wife! The way is dangerous!" Loki said.

"I will get to you, husband!" Darcy cried out to him, desperately tossing herself onto an armchair. She fell onto it as dramatically as possible, one hand reaching out toward Loki and Nari.

"Oh no!" Nari laughed.

"It's okay! I'll make it to you!" Darcy croaked out dramatically. She lifted her hand an made it trembled, before dropping it back down.

Loki gasped loudly. "We have to save your mother!

Nari reached out toward her. "I can do it!"

"Wife! Nari is coming!" Loki told her.

"Hurry!" She said weakly, moving into position to catch her son.

"You can do it," Loki said, kissing their son on the forehead before tossing him across the small distance from the armchair to the couch.

Darcy caught him easily. "You came to rescue me!" She cried.

"I'll save you, mommy!" Nari told her, hugging her closely.

"What are you two doing?" Thor asked as he came into the room.

"Lava!" Nari called.

"The floor is lava!" Loki said in his dramatic fashion. "Brother, get to safety!"

"What?' Thor asked in such surprise as he climbed onto the table that Darcy had no idea whether he was playing or being serious. "Who has cast such a foul curse upon us?"

"Help us!" Nari said. "Mommy is stuck!"

"Thor, I can't go on. I'm too weak," Darcy said, laying out dramatically while keeping a hold on her son.

"I shall save you, Lady Darcy." Thor told her.

"No, save Nari! I'll get to Loki."

"Quickly, before they sink into the lava!" Loki said.

Thor moved slowly, careful not to break the furniture as he jumped onto another table. "Give Nari to me," He said.

"Ready, Nari?' Darcy questioned.

"Ready!" Nari cheered.

Darcy tossed him to Thor, Nari giggling like a mad thing as his uncle caught him easily. "You two have to get help!"

"Come to me, wife!" Loki said. "I will protect you!"

"I'm coming," She told him, jumping onto the couch. Loki grabbed her and pulled them both down, causing her laugh at his dramatics.

"I've got you." Loki told her.

"What are all of you doing?" Jane asked from the doorway. She had a stern look on her face and her arms crossed as she stared around the room. Her and Loki sprawled messily on the couch, Thor crouching on the table with Nari, who was having the time of his little life. "Thor! Get off the table!"

"I cannot," He told her. "The floor is lava. It is not safe. Come, Jane, to safety."

Jane looked at him with that 'I am an adult, you are a child, everything is stupid.' look that she ha perfected for ruining people's fun. Loki had a pretty good version of that look himself, but he saved his for real idiotic moments and his look overpowered Jane's when he wanted it to.

"Thor, do not be fooled!" Loki called out. "That's not Jane. That's a lava monster."

Thor reacted immediately, shifting away from her so that Nari was protected. "You shall not have Nari!" Thor told her. "Away with you."

Jane gave him a deadpan look. "Thor, get down from there."

"She's trying to lure you into the lava!" Darcy said.

"You too, Darcy?" Jane asked with a eye roll.

"Hurry! Back over here!" Loki said.

Thor leapt from the table to the couch in one go. "What can we do?" Thor asked seriously. "We must protect Nari!"

"I shall fight the monster," Loki said.

"Daddy, no!" Nari said, reaching for Loki.

Loki took the giggling boy into his arms and smothered him with kisses, then he handed him back to Darcy. "Remember me fondly, wife." The Loki jumped off the couch and onto the table, before tackling Jane to the couch.

"What?" Jane began, but was cut off by Loki proceeding to tickle her. Jane tried her best to squirm away from him as she began to laugh. "L-Loki! Cut it... cut it out!"

"I shall fell you, lava monster!" Loki called.

"Go, Daddy, go!"

"I shall honor your sacrifice," Thor said solemnly.

"You know he's not really fighting a lava monster, right?" Darcy asked, just to be sure. Thor had come a long way when it came to understanding earth games and knowing the difference between Loki joking and being serious, but she still had to check every now and again.

"Aye," Thor intoned gravely. "Yet he is still taking on Jane and she shall not take this attack lightly."

Well, that was true. Jane could hold petty grudges a surprisingly long time. In that way, she was a little like Loki. "Your wife could stand to loosen up a little," Darcy added.

"Aye," Thor nodded. "That is why I leave her to the mercy of Loki's good humor. Work makes her tense."

Darcy nodded. "Why don't we go start lunch?" She asked them both.

"Yeah!" Nari cheered.

"Be careful of the floor," Thor said. "I shall go forth and clear the path."

One thing that Darcy could appreciate was the commitment with which both Loki and Thor played their games. "I leave the monster to you, husband!" She called as she began to furniture jump behind Thor.

"I won't... won't forgive you!" Jane said between burst of laughter, still trying to escape.

Once Darcy and Thor safely made it to the kitchen without touching the floor, he turned to her. "You have really done wonders for my brother, Darcy. In our youth, he would often use illusions to trick us into thinking that the floor had actually changed."

"You guys have the floor in lava in Asgard?" Darcy questioned.

"Not lava," He said. "But there are acidic substances aplenty. He would pretend that he had spilled them everywhere and we had to watch where we stepped or be burned alive."

"Wow," Darcy said. "Loki is intense."

"He is not the God of Mischief for nothing." Thor chuckled.


End file.
